Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Why didn't Taylor Swift do Taylor Swift (Taylors version)?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I see through liars

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

A Mistake Led to the Discovery of an Underwater Island Full of Rare Earth Elements - The Daily Galaxy

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Why would my nipples hurt when I touch them?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Is the Las Vegas Grand Prix considered one of the "premier events on the Formula 1 calendar?"

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I'm a 28-year-old guy who has never been in a relationship, nor can I seem to find someone who wants to be in one with me. Why do I feel like a freak?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Why does poop smell bad?

I can count

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Joe Biden is not the best president we had. That would be John F. Kennedy. How is voting for Donald Trump any worse than voting for Joe Biden?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

How do flat earthers explain the Earth being stationary? Is this concept considered impossible?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I can read

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

If Jesus was crucified by Governor Pontius Pilate, why does the Quran deny his death?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

How do I deal with autistic burnout/meltdown/shutdown when cooking?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Would the word literate carry the same meaning with public (common wealth) in 1900 vs today 2020?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I actually pay taxes

How do I find a transgender girlfriend?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Flash floods kill 3 in West Virginia, several people missing after inches of rain fell in 30 minutes - CBS News

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t buy bullshit

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand how hurricane paths work

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.